Wednesday, December 29, 2010
That message has stuck out to me lately.
Sure it could have something to do with the fact that my dad is dying of cancer, or maybe its got to do with me feeling alone myself. Alone from real friends. Alone from a significant other, alone from family. Theres something there for me... being with my family makes me very very restless. exhaustingly annoyed. and shameful. and a mixture of other unidentified emotions. Should probably flesh that out.
Sigh, my dads dying i need to deal with it. So i can move on w my thoughts and plans and life. I feel like im sheltering myself from myself right now.
New york prob wont happen. waiting on strippers to get abortions can become tedious..,
Well im here. In hawaii.
my dad is sick. just woke up to take more vicodin i think. he has the biggest bottle of vicodin ive ever seen. and he has lumps on his back. fuckin scary. I think this experience is making me feel more alone than ever..but i think thats very significant for me.. i need to be alone. I need to grow ALONE.. i need to love myself and rediscover myself.
Girl alone. its a series i want to do. Either taking pictures of little girls art.. that show just a drawing of a girl and nothing more. like my old drawings on post it notes when my parents left town for 2 weeks when i was young and I stayed at the Merrills house...
damn.. just googled image searched girl alone and came up with this poem..wow really mirrors my childhood !